Amanda Johnson Middleton

You never said "I'm leaving;"
you never said goodbye,
you were gone before I knew it,
and only God knew why.

A million times I needed you;
 a million times I cried,
if love alone could have saved you,
you never would have died.

In life I loved you dearly;
in death I love you still;
in my heart you hold a place,
that no one else can fill.

It broke my heart to lose you,
but you didn't go alone,
for part of me went with you,
the day God took you home.

I love you, miss you, and think of you everyday!!

Your beautiful babies and their frist Mothers Day without you. I can't tell you how this saddens my heart. I know you're watching over them from heaven above. I miss your Happy Mothers Day calls, and would give anything to have you back. You were a wonderful friend and a very beautiful mother to three wonderful babies.

Just a year  ago
my nieces lost their Mother
And as we all know
There will never be another.

She's one of the few things in life
That can never be replaced
She's led us down those life's paths
That can never be retraced.

Too many take their Moms for granted
And think they'll always be around
They don't know how She'll be missed
When, one day She's Heaven-bound.

Why we celebrate this special day
Only this one time a year?
When everyday our Mom is special
And we should tell Her, make that clear.

So, if you are a lucky one
Whose Mom is still with you
Tell her everyday you love her
For, that's the least that you can do.

I was in the fourth grade and had moved for about the 7th time. My family had moved back to Greenville where I was born & both my parents. My daddy still traveled alot though. We moved off White Horse rd . I was scared and had no one to play with. We moved so much I never truly had time to make friends. This time would be diff. 4 amazing little girls would change my life forever. We meet one day when they asked my mom if I could play w/ them I would become best friends with Angela closets to my age. I played with each of them though. Amanda was the tom-boy, Amy the prissy one & April was the lil one that tagged along when they would let her.

    I can remember building relationships w/ these girls as a kid and always thinking of them. Our yards meet from the back. I can remember Amanda hiding in the bushes and scaring the crap out of the rest of us. She was always bouncing a basketball everytime you'd see her walking down the street. They all do not know what they did for me as a kid. They always played with me and made me part of there group. These girls have touched my life in so many ways. No matter what life throws them they always bounce back.

  I would move again To mauldin the summer before 6th grade. I thought I would never see them again. For a while we keep in touch but soon lost touch. For the first time in my life I had made true friends. I never forgot them. In 9th grade in walked Angela one day. I was amazed. There house had burned and the girls were staying w/ there deddy in Mauldin for a while. I could not believe my eyes. It has been that way into our adulthood,our paths comtinue to cross.Even though I was not as close to Amanda As Angela I do Love & think of her often.

  I remember all the fighting & embarrisng conversations between her, her sisters & myself. I remember when she started dating, being in the band, getting married having her first liitle girl Rebekah lynn @ a young age & always coming out on top. She was a fighter & was determined to have her dreams come true. She always had a smile on her face & would give you the shirt off her back if it meant making you feel better. She grew from this clumpsy tom-boy I knew as a kid into a beautiful, talented ,amazing Nurse & mother.  

  I know this is not just about Amanda's memory but I wants everyone to know that visits this sight how much these girls mean to me. I do not think they even know how much each of them touched my life and how amazed I am @ what each of them has over come. I know tragedy has touched them often in there lives & yet they are always willing to help someone else & come out on top. I know that this is by far the biggest tragedy yet. I pray You guys have peace & know that Amanda was an amazing person & will never be forgotten. Thanks for being my friends & know that You all are always in my heart no matter how long it is between our conversation!!

Ok, I know you typically a bad driver, and everywhere we would go I would drive.  But nothing compares to the time we all went downtown in your Bronco.  It was you, Brandy, Angela, and I.  We thought we were so cool, out at night, no parents, we could go anywhere.  For some reason you guys were letting me drive.  I had no glasses on that night, and man I sure could have used them.  We pulled up to a red light, no one says anything to me, and before I knew it I turned left into a one way street.  The one way street was not our direction, it was for oncoming cars.  We drove down a little until there was an ambulance driving at us at full speed.  I remembered thinking I was going to piss in my pants.  We got turned around and that's all we could laugh about.  That was so much fun, nothing I would recommend, but fun.  I love you Amanda, had you on my mind today.

Amanda & I read and studied this book by Dr. Bob Shelton "God's Prophetic Blueprint".
So strange as I look back on that memory. I went with my brother Claude to Bob Jones
University Library to buy that book and that same afternoon Amanda came by on her way home
from school with the same book. I remember how excited, shocked and in awe we were
because neither of us knew that the other one was going to be getting that book. We were
going to meet Dr. Bob Shelton but seemed like something was always getting
in our way and we never got that chance.

I bet theres no dirt in heaven!! No "chocolote milk" for you!!HAHAHAHA!! Although you & I were only two & three,I will never forget us playing in the dirt & filling up a coke glass with dirt.I said i'll be right back.I went down to have mother fill it with water.I brought it back to you & said here Amanda mother made you some chocolote milk.You drank it down.Mouth full of dirt,mother ask what you was chomping on,you said Angela gave me chocolote milk.Thats just one of many funny memories I have of us.A memory that I thank the Lord for allowing me to keep!! 

Oh Amanda,lol.I laugh each time I think back at us in middle school.You

were such a terrible dresser.Those pink Pony shoes you would wear.Giddy up

I would say!!I feel like i was so mean to you but thats what sisters do!I dared anyone else to be mean to you!I MISS YOU so much!! Giddy Up girl,Giddy up!!

It's so hard to imagine that this Thanksgiving Day your family will be seating one less person at the table, and trying to make great memories for their children to look back on while trying to deal with the absence of you. I pray to God above that he'll give your family the stregth that they'll need to help them make it through this day. It's getting harder & harder not having you here. My thoughts and prayers are with your family, the love of your life, and your precious babies on this Thanksgiving Day.

I remember my old dryer back when it was brand new, had only had it a couple of weeks when one day Amanda stopped by. I was back in the washer dryer room doing laundry and she stepped back there to say hi. She noticed the dryer and said my diddy has a dryer just like that and she showed me the setting he used on his dryer and how well it worked. I looked at Amanda and said hmmm I'll try that and see what I think, and from that day on that was the setting I used. Even the smallest of memories I want to share because they too are awesome memories of our dearest Amanda.

Please share your memories of Amanda as a celebration of her life.

I remember back when you were pregnant with Rebekah. You phoned to tell me you weren't feeling good. I told Kim to come on we were going to see Amanda. I ended up taking you down to Hillcrest Hospital. They got you back really fast ran some test to see what was going on.  I went up front and gave them all your information because you didn't feel as though you could stand up that long. They ask me was I your mother and I said no, but I thought of you as though you were one of my daughters. Test came back showing that you were dehydrated. They gave you an IV and you started to feel much better. I was so glad to know that it was something simple and could be easily fixed. I miss your smiles, I miss your beautiful face, I  miss that radiant glow that you had about you.

I remember the last time i talked to you...it was on the phone and i was fussing at you kinda, but i do remember telling you that the only reason for me saying what i did was because you are my sister and I love you. We were ok after that, except that we were still in shock of uncle wayne dying, you were so upset and all i could say was you tried your best and you couldnt have saved him tonight..you were so convinced if you had been there you could have changed the outcome and i didnt know why you thought that out of all people you know he was on his way to glory whether we liked it or not... I told you I will call you in the morning but it was already 2 am June 3rd,2008. I got home at 6 am, i was gonna call you back but i figured you might be busy and decided not to call..i wish i had but then i know I still wouldnt be happy with just that. i finally got my ring from Rossie , i am planning my wedding but you are not here. It will not be the same, you know the deal we made years ago, you were suppose to be my maid of honor. You arent holding your end of the deal so you owe me one.God !Amanda I miss you so much!  I stared at your picture today in class and i began to feel a real emptiness apart  of me, i thought maybe this would help relieve some pain but it;s not working... I love you Amanda, I think of you EVERYDAY.

Angela Pardi worte: I've looked at all the pics of Amanda that you've added to your page also. She was such a special person-I know that eventhough I did'nt know her that well.

Kim just found your friend Kendel Ottosen. I hope somehow she already knows about you leaving us to go join God on the other side. That's such hard news for anyone to hear and to accept. I sit here this morning with thoughts of you on my mind and as I let the tears flow it's still really hard for me to accept that you're not here amongst us anymore. I remember the first time I met Kendel. You wanted me to talk with her to see that laying in the tanning bed was alright. I had many questions and was so unsure about the tanning beds. Your friend Kendel assured me that everything would be alright. You two talked for a bit then we left. It's amazing the little things you would do for me, they all seem like such huge things now. Thats when you told me that you had named your baby Kendel after your friend Kendel Ottosen. I thought that was so cool that you had a friend that you thought so much of that you'd name one of your babies after them. Missing you terribly as I always will till the end of my time.

 

I remember me, you and Kim went to Haywood Mall and got our first little make-up case of Clinique, you and I bought a bigger bottle of Clinique lotion 2, we phoned each other throughout the week, talked about the directions of how to apply the lotion to our face, and how good it was with keeping pimples under control, not that either of us had that problem. We felt good about ourselves that we were able to buy expensive stuff back then at such a cheap price because they were having a promotion on Clinique that week. I wish there was a way to have recorded all the little things we did together, so we could play back our memories on tape when ever we like and show them off.

I Remember when we were very little and you & I decided we were

not going to do what we were told.We was told not to leave the sidewalk

in front of the house.Well we did but we thought we'd be slick & bring sticks back with us.

I dont know what we thought we would do with them sticks.Needless to say I believe

Daddy got our hydes real good.We wern't no more than 3 & 4 yrs old,LOL.

You and I will meet again
When we're least expecting it
One day in some far off place
I will recognize your face
I won't say goodbye my friend
For you and I will meet again

I remember the time we went out to Sam's Club and we ran into a guy that we both thought was so good looking when we were in high school.  The funniest part of that memory was how hard we were laughing because the guy was practically bald and had an 18 year old girlfriend, and by then we were all 24 years old. I remember that's all we kept talking about for weeks on end, and everytime it made us laugh.  We always laughed, we almost always laughed until we cried, and I miss that.  I had you on my mind today, like everyday, just thought I'd leave a memory, one of many.  I love you and miss you. 

im gonna miss thanksgiving dinner at the table how we would reminece over old times.we would laugh till we cried.i guess im gonna have to take ove the mac & chz.

I remember back when you were pregnant right before Haley, how excited I was for you.  We talked on a regular basis then.  We were both pregnant again for the second time together.  I thought wow this is fate that me and my best friend are pregnant together again.  You called one afternoon and told me that you were bleeding and cramping really bad, and I said that you should go see a doctor.  You hung up, did that, and called me back later that night to break bad news.  You said that you were losing the baby.  I was so upset, I went out the next morning to get you a sympathy card.  The whole time I was in the store trying to pick out a card for you, I was balling my eyes out.  People walking behind me giving me "what's wrong with her" looks.  I had never cried so hard for you in my life, we were so close that to me it felt like it was my loss.  Your loss was my loss.  I love you so much, and feel an even bigger loss now.  I love all the memories I have with you and wish you were still here to make new memories with.  That's what we were going to do. 

The last time I saw you was up here at the shop.You came by on your way home from work.We sat & talked about the denist of all things.That was only a week before the wreck.Had I know it would be the last time i woulda held you up longer.I took your picture that day with my phone & you took mine with yours.You left here & when you did you backed into the mail box,haha.Which by the way is still leaning over.I called & said are you ok & you said yeah why,I said well you hit the mail box.You pulled over in disbelief.We laughed about it & you went on home.Amanda i miss you more than you would ever know.I can't seem to stop my tears from flowing.I feel such apart of myself is missing.
A peice of my heart!I love you so much!!Forever in my heart & on my mind!

This past Monday the twenty second of September, I finally put my clothes away that I wore to your funeral. I would give anything to have you back here with us, we all are having a very hard time letting you go. I love you so much and my heart aches every second of the day.

Heather sent this to me in one of her emails to me. So I thought I'd share it with you Amanda.

 

Amanda and i were really good friends when I lived in lions gate, we may have lost touch over the years, and I didn't get to know the woman that she grew to be, but I still loved her dearly.

I know I saw atleast 6 - 2000 Nissan Exterra, none of which were the same color of yours. I wondered what the purpose of that was, but soon realized that I was feeling your presense with me as I rushed through the day so I could get ready for my trip to the police department this afternoon. I now know what you were trying to tell me, no one would be there. The plans had changed and I didn't know it. Thank you Amanda for your trying to communicate with me. What's more awesome is feeling your presense with me even if I didn't get what you were trying to tell me. You are so very loved from the moment you came into my life until the day of my passing.